[531] As She Fades

When I am standing on the edge ⁣⁣⁣
Revelling at the vista, which the mist blurs ⁣⁣⁣
I forget the lovely image, hers, as⁣⁣⁣
She fades… fades… fades away⁣⁣⁣
Over me, joy has taken me in its veil⁣⁣⁣
More a creature of this world ⁣⁣⁣
And one less angel on the earth⁣⁣⁣
I want nothing more, nothing less⁣⁣⁣
When I am standing on the edge ⁣⁣⁣
Revelling at the vista, which the mist blurs⁣⁣⁣
I think I recall the image, hers, again⁣⁣⁣
She passes…passes… passes by⁣⁣⁣
I want nothing less, nothing more

NaPoWriMo Day 3: Find a shortish poem that you like, and rewrite each line, replacing each word (or as many words as you can) with words that mean the opposite. For example, you might turn “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” to “I won’t contrast you with a winter’s night.” Your first draft of this kind of “opposite” poem will likely need a little polishing, but this is a fun way to respond to a poem you like, while also learning how that poem’s rhetorical strategies really work. (It’s sort of like taking a radio apart and putting it back together, but for poetry).

No matter what point in my life I am, if I’m at a loss of words, I end up back at Fernando Pessoa’s words. So it’s almost written in my destiny to choose a poem by him. This was something I hadn’t read and it hit me like an avalanche. I hope I did justice to it, tinkering its structure to make it make sense in my own soul.

Here’s the poem – As She Passes

7 thoughts on “[531] As She Fades

  1. You most definitely did it justice, Rahul! I love the blend of using the prompt and something that inspires you. There’s a breathtaking awareness in your words that is really beautiful to read. I love seeing you more active on WP!!! Such a gift 🤍🤗🤍🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The original poem: “Friendships”

    Write life without friendships
    And who would read it through?
    Paint life without its friendships
    Where is the rainbow hue?
    Build life without its friendships
    Who would live therein?
    For friendship’s glow leads to the goal
    That each of us would win.

    poet: Molly A. Haley

    And mine:


    Live life with enemies
    And no one would join in
    Scribble life with its enemies
    And forget to add a grin.
    Tear down life with its enemies
    And regret the choices you choose
    For death darkens your door
    When you’ve no friends to lose.

    Jan Beekman


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